Prophets

The Showdown

The 450 prophets of the churches of God stood on one hill and the true prophet of God stood on the other, with a vast gulf between them with the people in the valley below.

"Our God is the one true God," they declared and added, "because He has revealed to us the truth". "He will destroy the United States and Britain because they are the descendants of Joseph with the birthright of Ephraim and Manasseh, but have not kept the Sabbath and Holydays nor listened to us as the Watchmen to the House of Israel, and, besides, they eat unclean meat. There will be a Great Tribulation such has never been seen before in the annals of history. Those who heed our message and faithfully pay all their tithes to us will be saved in a Place of Safety.

"The crime has increased and the weather is terrible, showing that these things are coming to pass. Children are our oppressors and women rule over us and anyway, Hillary will probably be our next president. The United States of Europe is coming to pass as the European Economic Community moves forward to some day be ruled by the Beast from Germany and the Pope of the Catholic Church will be the Scarlet Woman on the Beast.

"In that day, you'll all be sorry, those who don't listen to us and look at our websites and read our magazines and see our podcasts! You'll know that God's Apostle has been among you, preaching the truth about doctors and medicines and when Pentecost is and makeup. You'll see that 1975 in prophecy was just a little late. Not a tree will be standing in the Pacific Northwest as we said, even though it didn't happen when we said. The drought and famine will take its toll even though it didn't by the time we originally predicted.

"Even though the United States and Britain did not lose World War II as we predicted, they will lose World War III.

"God will favor us and protect us, even if we have a few small spots and wrinkles, like our committing adultery, oppressing the people, being proud, having plenty in idleness and not strengthening the poor and needy. Sure, we commit idolatry. Yes, we acknowledge the stalkers and fondlers amongst the leaders and prominent among us. Of course we realize that we have abandoned the poor, the widows and the fatherless to pour our efforts into preaching our own self-righteousness while exposing the evils of society that we do ourselves. Our end will not be that of Sodom and Gomorrah even though we act like Sodom and Gomorrah because the angels of the Lord are with us.

"Yes, we are at war with one another, for our lusts demand it of us in the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. We throw rocks at one another and declare ourselves superior to those who are our "brothers". We have the superior prophecies. We have the superior knowledge of the truth. We stand in the circle of protection of God. Most of us, anyway.

"We realize that we were wrong to miss some of the prophecies: We were a little rushed and early, but in the end, they will come to pass even as we said they will.

"We are not truly prophets, but we are Apostles -- greater than any two-bit prophet. We may have made predictions and signed them "In Jesus' Name" but we are not prophets. We cannot be held accountable for any false prophecies we make because we are God's Apostle and not prophets.

"That Jesus said that the world would know us because we would love one another is irrelevant. We have a work to do and we don't have time for that. We are on a mission and the people must lift up our arms and support us! We aren't supposed to be supporting them or giving them comfort in their trials. They are supposed to work out their own salvation in fear and trembling. We can't be bothered.

"On the other hand, if something has gone wrong for us, it is Satan attacking, and we must have the undivided support of the people who send us money. That's enough, the money that is, but we want them to pray and fast for us when the income is down because we deserve to live a better life style than them. After all, we are to receive double honor, and that amounts to a better salary and a better retirement plan.

"We never know exactly when Jesus will return, so it's a good idea to have the support of all you people, especially when it comes to our retirement. We should think not about the 'morrow, except when it involves our future.

"We know that you people have issues and concerns, but you must have faith, and stop leaving us for a better life with less oppression and more truth. You must follow us at all costs, even if you have to empty yourselves in the service to us to support us, have empathy for us in our weaknesses and problems and give us a cushy life which each of you wish you could have had for yourselves if it hadn't been for us.

"Even though our prophecies have failed in the past and our moral character is less than stellar and that we have lied to you and broken our covenants with you before God, you must continue to have faith in us."

In the valley below, instead of the people answering not a word, they began to murmur and complain. The reaction of the prophets of the churches of God was to yell at them and castigate them, reminding them of the rebellion of Korah and the declaration that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.

Some of the people began to depart for a better life after all the prophets of the churches of God said.

The true prophet of God saw and heard all this. He then shook his head sadly and walked away into the sunset.

Because sometimes, as a Prophet of God, the best prophecy is to say nothing at all.