Timeline

Cult leaders are nuts!

Their prophecies prove it!

What's ahead?

People are fascinated with the future. Inquiring minds want to know what's in store for them and what is in store for humanity.

Be careful what you ask for.

There is always a prophet around who is more than willing to tell you what you want to hear.

It may not be the truth.

And in this case...

Let's just say that it would be really funny for our own private amusement if people didn't actually buy into all this garbage.

The next 1,122 years in advance

The Leader has just preempted the next 1,122 years. The paper he wrote shows with great pragmatism what is to come and when:

2012: 35th year of the 40th jubilee--a seventh year land Sabbath. The Mayans end their calendar here, because as pagan demon worshippers, they assume the world comes to an end right at this time. All they know is what they were told by Satan, the Devil, and The Leader is a great believer in what Satan says through his extra Biblical connections. The Great Whore, the Scarlett Woman, is destroyed by the Beast, maybe prior to 2012 or during the period of the 2 witnesses, whoever they are, who will be in place sometime vaguely before 2016.

2016: The 2 witnesses begin the droughts. Maybe Passover is the last time for the two witnesses to be in place in Jerusalem, maybe not.

2019: This is it! This the last possible date for the return of Jesus Christ! It can't be any later than this! Have your going out of business specials before this time! That's it: After this, Messiah will subjugate the whole planet for the 2028 beginning of the Millennium! Time will be cut short! Hurry, these are the last days!

Also there's something about the destruction of the kings of the east after they are called down to Jerusalem. They should have ignored that last cell phone call and slept in!

2025: Maybe there will be fewer than three hundred million people left on earth. Certainly, there will be fewer in The Cult--30 perhaps; maybe 3.

2026: Three times the harvest for all those farmers in The Cult just before the Jubilee. Here's the thing: Farmers in The Cult never had a double harvest before the seventh year and they had to borrow, take second jobs and even go broke. What makes anyone think it's going to be any different for the year before the seventh year followed by the Jubilee, particularly after the Great Tribulation? There's serious psychosis here. Oh well, since Christ is around, he'll turn the five hundred loaves and fishes into five billion loaves and fishes and there'll be plenty to go around. No. Really!

2027/2028: Since Jesus Christ, this is supposedly the 40th jubilee and the 49th since the second temple with Ezra and Nehemiah. Never mind it is a year off... at least... because The Leader can't do the math.

2028: This is it! This is what you've been waiting for! This is the beginning of the 1,000 year millennium with Messiah at the helm! This is the start of the jubilee of jubilees! This is the 50th jubilee since the restoration of the law under Ezra and Nehemiah and the construction of the temple during their time! And if you don't believe it, Ezra and Nehemiah will be there to explain it to you!

There will be peace and prosperity for 1,000 years because people are living according to The Law and because the WB won't be broadcasting occult features any more. The 6 PM news will be replete with stories of lost tigers being found for little children as their special pets, along with their pit vipers--it will all be good news--Great News. People will stand for 12 hours at a stretch to listen to Jesus Christ expound the Law at the Feast of Tabernacles. All cults will disappear for 1,000 years.

3012-3027: All good things must come to an end--it's only bad things that last and last. Satan will be released. Who's idea is that?! You have to know what will happen! There will be war! Satan will come with great armies gathered from the rebellious all over the earth. This is going to last a year! Misery and destruction will follow.

In the end, though, Satan and his minions will be stopped. Satan will become a mortal man. He will be zorched, along with all his troops. He will die. The righteous will walk on his ashes. He will be dead forever.

3028: The Great White Throne Judgment will begin. Everybody who was not in that first, better resurrection in, let's see now, 2028 is it? will be brought back from the dead. The Grateful Dead will really be grateful. Everyone [according to The Leader] will be 20 years old when they come up. Twenty. Full of raging hormones at their peak. They will be taught God's Ways and not a moment too soon! And they will all have to get along. It will be a big job, keeping the Jews and Arabs apart and the Northern and Southern Irish! It makes the authors tired just thinking about being referees! And this will go on for one hundred years, until everybody gets it right, or they get thrown into the Lake of Fire and get burned to a crisp. But we think better of humanity and God will succeed with everyone and no one will die! It's not Scriptural and that's not what Christ said, but that's what The Leader says so you'd better believe it!

3127: New Jerusalem is finished by the contractors according to specs and is brought down on earth--after the whole place is turned molten and reformed. In New Jerusalem, the streets will be paved with gold and precious gems the size of Elizabeth Taylor diamonds will be everywhere, but it won't make a bit of difference because the spirit beings will have no use for such things.

And who knows what's after that? Cleaning up the entire universe? Andromeda needs a face lift. It makes the authors tired just thinking about all the work that is ahead, and it's not because they are lazy, it is because it's all a bit overwhelming.

That's the timeline by The Leader, spiffed up a bit, because, frankly, he's a bit dreary when it comes to such things. The authors have the utmost respect for the Bible and the Messiah, but virtually none at all when it comes to false prophet cult leaders.

While we may [or may not] agree with the sentiments and the general layout of the future, there is no way at all for the authors to begin to believe that the timing will work out this way, if it happens. Jesus Christ said that no man knew the day or the hour, not even him, and he also said that he would return at a time that everyone would "think not". That's pretty clear, but not clear enough for cult leaders to understand, believe or teach.

You've all been warned before that false prophets would arise

False prophets always make the same mistake: They are so very sure that their vision of the future is the only possible future. They make the same mistake over and over and over again. Instead of predicting the past, they venture out on to the thin ice of speculation with confidence befitting a fool. Often, they even predict the present and the past and are wrong even with known facts. Accuracy is not an option.

Those of us who have had the self-controlled restraint to avoid the temptation of prognosticating what seems a sure thing are often gratified that we remained discreetly silent as we observe our self-styled silent prophecies go up in flames. The Universe is an arbitrary place when it comes to the future: It is full of unexpected surprises. Often the surprises are gratifying and the predicted chaotic destruction is nowhere bad as it seems to have been shaping up with some deity or higher power seemingly silently mitigating the worst of what was a certainty. Sometimes the horrors never materialize at all.

But cultmeisters plow on with their irritating foolishness, never noting the observation in Scripture that "prophecies shall fail". Failed prophecies? From a prophet of the Almighty God? Who would have thunk?

The answer to that is any reasonably intelligent person. It's not like a moron couldn't see it wasn't coming. While most observers are laughing with great hilarity over the nonsense spouted by the would-be prophet when the predictions fail, those who follow the false prophet become defensive in their obvious oblivious error and insist that maybe the prophecy was "a little off" or "it is late" in occurring, never admitting the utter defeat they and their ravening wolf leader believed is nothing short of stupid and that they have been publicly embarrassed as morons and fools. The prophecy fails falling on its keester with the victims left to flailingly flounder, wallowing in fear and confusion, wondering what went wrong when they knew--they just knew--that the prophecies were going to come to pass, looking for an explanation for the prophecies actually did come to pass to validate that they were right all along. Instead of real repentance in admitting the whole thing was a mistake, abandoning their false prophet and moving on, the cult members are stuck in a twilight zone of attempting to reconcile fantasy by somehow making it reality in their deluded distorted perceptions. They were not careful to prove daily whether these things were true and suffer the consequences. It's embarrassing, but the cult members somehow recover and plough on to the next milestone of the simple and erroneous. They never learn because they have a vested committed investment in the garbage they cannot abandon because it still seems true to them. Their leader twists it around to keep his slaves captive. They are blind fools led by the blind. Hope springs eternal. The leader never seems smart enough to predict things that will never happen in his lifetime: He always seems to make the major risk of predicting something that is twenty to forty years off in the obvious precaution that it seems so very far away when merely predicting an afterlife that no one could ever dispute. At least in this, Islam has it right.

The problem is that failures in the exercise of reality don't just stop at prognosticating the future. Cult leaders venture into every sort of endeavor, carelessly scanning news reports, giving cursory readings to publications and mining the Internet for those carefully (and not so carefully) aligned points to "prove" premises held by the cult leader. The beliefs raised to doctrinal dignity are thus supported on the solid foundation of a house of cards, yet, the leader is in the powerful position of having his people have faith in him so that within the venue of the cult, the leader is invulnerable to attack. The cultmeister goes forth with his lies and deceptions to the whole world with his membership supporting him to the hilt in his error so that not even the gates of hell will resist his onslaught until he encounters a higher power: Reality. As silly as the teachings are objectively, the entire ship of fools sails on in waters of delusion until sunk by the iceberg of the cold hard truth. Until then, everyone is happy in the confidence that they have the truth and no one else has the truth, so there! You are all wrong and they are all right and you are the ones who'll just see! "Prove that we are wrong and we will change", they say. But they never do change, even when it is so painfully obvious that they are wrong. It becomes a bizarre waiting game in the Twilight Zone while the deluded wait for the salvation of what is predicted. It never comes, of course. Or if it comes, it is a seriously damaged package.

The Leader has some serious problems. He has predicted the future. He has it wrong. He should be in fear. In Scripture, Matthew 7:15 paints him as a False Prophet and is hence a ravening wolf.

The Leader has become ever increasingly more shrill about his projected future--the fantasy one--in which Jesus Christ returns to this earth prior to the year 2027. In the meantime, all the nations will somehow migrate to where they should be, before that great and fateful day. Lots of events will unfold between now and then. Though he hints around about it and doesn't come right out and say it, he predicts that the Great Tribulation to try the entire earth as a part of Satan's wrath will begin in the year 2012 or thereabouts. He's a little vague about the fate of the thoroughly discredited notion of the United States and British Commonwealth as Manasseh and Ephraim--two of the lost ten tribes of Israel--in prophecy, but they are sure to come to no good.

The best of his prophecies is contained on the older of his audio taped sermon, The Measuring of the Temple. Along about side b of the third of six tapes, he makes the prediction that ministers will starve to death. This shocking and revealing prophecy is one that no one should take much stock in except to prove that he is a false prophet. No minister of which he is speaking has ever died of starvation. Some have died of a bad case of flu, some from heart disease, some from stroke and a whole host of other maladies, but each one has pretty much stubbornly remained rotund up until the end. If anything, the ministers of which he spoke were warmed and filled up to the very end. He is provably wrong. He can't even predict the past very well, even when he has the facts right in front of him. This portends no good thing in the days to come.

If things continue within The Cult as they are, and if The Cult even exist over the next twenty years and The Leader is still alive, he's going to have a lot of 'splainin' to do. Just how do you explain that what you predicted twenty years ago has fallen flat? How do you explain that you are not a false prophet when you are one? The time honored rescue is to claim that the prophecies fallen flat will still come to pass, but only in the next "cycle" whatever that is. This is a perfect foil unless The Leader lives to be 100 years old. It is ceaselessly amazing that such men are unembarrassed. They skip along as if nothing has happened, expecting forgiveness that looks nothing like forgiveness, but much more looks like entitlement. The foul odor of failure by this time goes unnoticed by his cloyed congregation since they have lost their sense of smell--as well as the rest of their senses--and don't notice the stench of his unrighteousness unframed by any semblance of repentance. Don't worry, nothing ever changes except the explanations of why we were right when we were really really wrong. This becomes so calculating cold manipulation that it is frightening to those who can perceive what is being done to the membership to preserve a life style of the self-styled prophet liar priest-king. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Choose your rut carefully, for you will be in it for the next twenty years.

There are failed prophecies which The Leader has made that are very subtle and easy to be missed. There was a farmer in the The Cult who believed in the Seventh Year Land Sabbath. He worked and toiled and managed to make a living up through the Seventh Year. The Leader brandishes the Bible to support the idea of the Seventh Year Land Sabbath. He even predicts that farmers following God's pattern in Scripture will have a triple harvest in the year 2026 to tide them over, not just for the Seventh Year, but for the Jubilee as well. Just how well has this false prophecy that there would be a double blessing in the Sixth year actually worked out? Pragmatic evidence is that it doesn't. The farmer in the The Cult, did not get double his crop year in the Sixth year and went broke--he had to borrow to stay afloat. Of course, The Leader is in the prime position to accuse the farmer that he had not kept everything he should have done and therefore was not blessed. It's tough to prove, but there it is: It's the victim's fault, yet again. Occam's Razor needs to be invoked here: The simplest explanation is probably the right one. It simply doesn't work. The Universe doesn't work that way. And this contributes to The Leader being a false prophet. I Corinthians 6:9-10 makes the destination final outcome very clear: Extortioners shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. The Greek Word for Extortioners  here is Strong's Concordance Greek #727 which has the meanings of rapacious, extortion and ravening. It is translated "swindlers" in the New American Standard Bible and English Standard Bible. It is also the same word that Christ used in Matthew 7:15: "Beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves." for the word "ravening". It is a very serious sin to be a false prophet according to Scripture, one which will prohibit the false prophet from entering the Kingdom of God. One who does not utterly repent, never to utter such abominations ever again, is predicted to end up in the Lake of Hell Fire, to become ashes under the feet of the righteous. The authors sincerely advise The Leader not to make an ash of himself.

The Leader deals with these things in the time honored effective methods always employed by the scoundrels of the past: He lies, covers up, covers up the cover up, makes the whole thing undiscussible, practices deception and damage control to put a spin on things. And if that doesn't work, silence the critics by calling them "simple and erroneous". Castigation always works with true believers. He also accuses others of being false prophets. Herbert Armstrong, The Jehovah Witnesses, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Pat Robertson and others joined the stables of the rapacious wolves described by Christ in Matthew 7:15. There's nothing like diverting attention to others in hopes that no one will notice just who and what you are.

Just remember that seldom, if ever, are false prophets ever stoned to death. Instead they are treated with great honor and respect. It is the true prophets, ever irritating everyone with truth, who ever suffer the wrath of the people. The false prophets are ever prosperous and popular, often showing up on talk shows, if not spewing their lies over the Internet and oft with a television show of their own. People are curious about the future, even if it is a future which will never happen. Accuracy is doomed. It's not a bit entertaining, particularly when associated with a call to repentance, which is pretty much the object of the prophecy in the first place. False prophecies carry no accountability and, hence, no responsibility. False prophets are also comforting: They have an explanation for everything and show that there will be justice because all the bad guys will suffer--with the caveat that the bad guys are pretty much everyone but the cult itself. "Vengeance is mine, saith the cult, even I shall repay." Repayment comes in the form of anonymous character assassination ably assisted in some cases with lawsuits and threats of lawsuits from cheap lawyers hired by the cult leader because the membership is too cowed with fear to do it themselves, even when they are ordered publicly to do so by their cultmeister. If you can't silence your critics any other way because of their accuracy and constitutionally assured freedom of speech, tie them up with lawsuits, because faith in God is overrated and a total waste of time for a cult which obviously has no active support from a benign Creator Who is faced by an appalling lack of faith by the cult and its leader. God is not involved and will hardly take vengeance against those who are faithful to Him. Other Powers must be called upon in the vacuum of a lack of righteousness.

The Leader is not shy bringing other false prophets to task. His web site is replete with documented evidence of the false prophecies of various leaders and former leaders of the Churches of God. This displays a fine sense of irony, since he seems to be guilty of the same thing. As world events march on, though, he will probably become more and more desperate as his own prophecies betray him. The true irony of his posturing may come to light so that even he can see who and what he is. Up until then, you can be certain that he is absolutely positive that everything he predicts will come true and will work things around to make even his failures seem like successes. If nothing else, he can distract people by pointing to the failures of others. As is his practice, he will also blame everything and everyone else for his failures, just as he has done in the past. It's a bad habit which works well for him. As for the accusation of the brethren that Herbert Armstrong plagiarized materials, well....

As a prophet of God, or at least a god, The Leader is more than slightly off in his predictions. He has an outline (or outright lie) for the future popes of the Catholic Church--the last five of them, at least. Where did he get this more sure prophecy? From the Bible? From a personal vision of God? Nope. He made it up out of his head, from some heady speculation from Nostradamus and some bad dreams some of the popes themselves have had. Few things could be more stupid and ridiculous. If it's not from God, but from some "demon" or other, you sure are taking your chances to give credence to those who peep and mutter--a proposition resonatingly resoundingly rejected by Scripture, in fact, outright forbidden by pain of eternal spiritual death. The Leader is openly deliberately defying Scripture by learning the ways of the heathen. His web site for The Cult is replete with maddening mysticism condemned by the Bible. The Leader has ventured forth into waters forbidden by God Almighty and Jesus Christ, Messiah. The Leader boldly goes where no Christian has gone before because Christians are commanded not to go there. True Christians have every right to complain that his material of deception is of Satan the Devil.

For the rest of us, it's just plain silly.

It's for our personal amusement.

It's a real howl!

You'll laugh so hard it will hurt!

Except if you are in The Cult subject to The Leader. Then it won't be so funny. When The Leader's prophecies fail. Shoot, what will you do then?! Reader's Digest suggests "Laughter is the Best Medicine". In this case, it may be the only medicine--bitter medicine!

For those who are still convinced that The Leader is a prophet of God and the future he preaches is sure to arrive at the prescribed time, we remind you of "1975 in Prophecy".